Doing it Wrong, and Loving it

wildomaar asked: A rather serious question, its going to sound almost stupid or pointless to ask but I shall anyways. How does one go through life and not hate every single minute of it? Again stupid question, but suffering from depression makes you blind to the good aspects of life, I know you probably won't have answer and I understand that. I just wanted to throw the question at someone who doesn't know me. Sorry about the question, and I also understand if you don't answer. Thanks for your time.

Note: possible spelling errors, it’s is 2am :P

Well first off, I don’t know if I can help - or even if I’m qualified to try. I’m pretty sure depression is a real sickness, that much like other diseases can be treated. But you need a doctor for that. HOWEVER, a fan in need is a fan I can take 5 minutes out of my life for.

The first thing I know from having friends who have suffered through depression that you need to talk about it. Fighting it alone is the worst thing you can do. That’s one of the biggest feelings people have when depressed - just feeling like no one understands or cares. Even people without depression feel this from time to time - and I think we all agree it sucks. WELL, hopefully this is proof that you can safely bring up the subject without being judged and people do care. Sometimes talking about it is enough to start you down a path to getting healthy again.

Speaking of getting healthy - go to the gym. Go work out. I’m a big dude, but every time I’m stressed or over worked or just plain tired and down, I go to the gym and the boost in energy and all those other technical sciencey chemicals in your body as well. Not only is to good for your body, but good for your mind too. Listen to some music, watch TV or whatever while you do - and it can take your mind off things for awhile too.  Also be sure to eat healthy and sleep a good 8 hours a night. 

In fact - go out in the sun… a bunch. Just take walks - I’m pretty sure (sorry if I’m science is wrong here) but research shows Serotonin levels increase while in the presence of sunlight. Apparently Serotonin acts as a natural anti-depressant, which is why some people are plagued by “Seasonal Affective Disorder” (basically being depressed in winter and happy in summer). 

Other than that, the biggest thing is the realization that things always get better - always. You probably don’t believe it right now, and I’m sure it doesn’t feel that way inside, but trust me on this. 

What you need to do is free up your schedule and devote some time to you - if you have class or work - take time afterwards to just walk in the park or sit outside at lunch. Not only will you you get some you time, but at least a few of the girls will think you’re “super mysterious”. :)

I hope you don’t mind but I did some blog snooping and saw you were depressed about missing college.

If you’re depressed cause you have a goal and you think “I’ll never achieve it” or “I’m going no where” - break that goal down. Rather than ‘I screwed up leaving school” break down your goal into the smallest chunks possible. “I need to get back into a college” “I need student loans” “I need books” ” I need to get to class on time” “I need to do well on my homework”… stuff like that. And Then find a way to make each happen. it takes work - but focusing on mini-goals will keep your mind off the larger goal being so far away.  

A lot of people get depressed because they feel like they’ve “settled” for something they come to find they hate. Stuck in an awful job. Married to the wrong person. Giving up their dream.

I’m here to tell you, and the world - NEVER SETTLE. Always fight until your last breath. If you want to go back to school - you find a way. REALLY - don’t stop until you are in a seat in a classroom on the first day of the semester. 

Anyway, on a personal note: I believe if you have the courage to write me about this, you have the courage to fight back.

Hang in there,

Jesse